WEEK 3

Family Culture

Families have an ecological effect on the world, and it is important to understand different cultures that every family brings into the world.

Ecological- effects that we have to influence others or for others to influence us.

IMIGRANTS

My grandpa moved from tonga to America in the 1900s with his family to start working and getting an education. When he had moved to America, he found an American wife who only knew English while he of course only knew Tongan. They started a family together with mixed children who had the best of both worlds that comes with being Tongan and American, knowing how to speak English and being emersed in the Polynesian traditions and culture. His children grew up and started their own families and created a unique home culture that only first-generation American children could understand, they spoke only English in the house but taught Tongan discipline.

Culture can say a lot about a family and where the family comes from

The reasoning behind why my grandpa never taught his children Tongan was because he was able to see the stress and unneeded responsibility young first-generation American children felt being a translator for their parents who did not know English. My grandpa wanted his children to feel like they didn't have to baby their father with being his translator. If his children were wanting to learn Tongan it was up to them to go out of their way to figure it out and use the resources, they had to learn a new language on their own this also taught them a lot about hard work and dedication. Once my mother got to high school, she had asked one of her cousins to teach her how to speak Tongan because her cousin was one of the many first-generation American children that were used as a translator, this cousin was able to teach my mom by the time she finished high school. When my mom had started a family of her own, she now had the option to teach her children’s first language as either English or Tongan just like her father she did not teach me how to speak Tongan and it's up to me if I desire to learn how to speak the Tongan language. This is just part of the culture that some immigrants follow, it is more common for immigrant families to use their children as translators, I see it very often in my cousins’ families and I see the emotional challenges it has on children at such a young age throughout their lives as adults.

This week in family relations class there was a lesson on the culture of families and how they play a big role in the overall image of the family unit for society. After class I decided to reflect on my family and how I grew up to compare it to how The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints lays out the family unit. I quickly noticed the vast difference my family had to what the family proclamation to the world explains the family should be. I felt offended and as if I do not fit the image that the church wants. Of course, that feeling of offence did not last long.

In another family studies class that I had to bear my testimony on eternal families here is what I wrote:

“I am taking a total of three family-studies classes and yet the hardest thing in the gospel for me to understand is the family unit. I grew up in a home where I was abused by a family member, so I never understood the purpose of eternal families, I don’t want to be with that family member for all of eternity. All my siblings came from foster care/ adoption services where they got to experience once being sealed to parents who abused and mistreated them. I would really like to be able to build a testimony on eternal families so I can one day make the family that I never got to grow up in. I know that this church is true. I know that my heavenly parents are cheering for me on the other side to return with them again. I know that my heavenly parents will provide me with all the resources I need to build a happy eternal family that I always wanted if I just follow the counsel of the spirit.”

The response I received by my grader changed my life and how I view Eternal families

She said:

“My mom struggled a lot growing up with an abusive father who caused a lot of problems for my mom’s mother and siblings. What she always tells me is that “you get two families. The one you’re born into and the one you create”. The man my mother married is a wonderful father and she really did create the kind of family she never had. Families can be a difficult gospel principle to grasp, but what is beautiful is that once you do understand them you can have the joy and peace that comes with that family knowledge. I promise you that you won’t have to be “stuck with” someone you don’t want to for eternity. That wouldn’t be Heaven and God is a just God, who values our agency and won’t force us to do anything we don’t want to.”

“YOU GET TWO FAMILIES. THE ONE YOU’RE BORN INTO AND THE ONE YOU CREATE.”

- I still get one more chance to be part of something great and I will do everything in my power to get there.