WEEK 9

Families and relationships within parent and child are important because it teaches children how to “…build trust, seek friendships from others, and find comfort with others as well. Generally, in life you must learn how to make and sustain relationships. These skills are started and strengthened within the family and home” (Tenser). Having a father and mother in the home provides the best outcome of developing these skills. The most sought for answer researchers are looking for are asking is it better to be raised in the nuclear family home or in the single parent family home? Divorce rates skyrocketed in the 1950s causing there to be more single parent homes; and since then, researchers have been trying to decipher the best option out of the two and they came to the concise that research has shown that due to the resources a single parent is given (especially single mothers) a child has a better outcome with the nuclear parent family home. Since then, more programs have been created to help give more resources to single parent families including after school childcare, child welfare research, and access to government aid… But nothing can replace the strength that having a helpful father brings to the family unit.

“The “typical” American family has changed radically over the last 50 years. Americans today are marrying later than ever before, divorcing sooner, or avoiding the institution altogether. Whereas married couples dominated the family structure in years past, only 30 percent of millennials feel that a successful marriage is an important part of life… Often lost in the discussion of marital decline is a simple fact. Marriage is good for children. In fact, countless studies have shown that children born to married parents enjoy a number of socioeconomic benefits over those born to single parents” (Goldfarb & Taylor).

Many researchers today believe that children are better off being parented by two married parents, or at least those children benefit from living in a home where there are two parents that can take care of all there many needs including, emotional and financial needs. Financial resources play a big role in providing for the child in many ways. Money provides many things for children for example food, education, clothing, transportation, hygiene; these are all essential for a child. Child support allows single parents to help provide more resources for children to develop with what they need.

Today the divorce rate “is 2.9 per 1,000. Fewer couples choose to marry than pre-1990… The U.S. divorce rate is amongst one of the highest in the world… There are currently over 750,000 divorces in the U.S. each year” (Vuleta). Although, Louise B. Silverstein and Carl F. Auerbach argues that the assertion that fatherlessness contributes to juvenile crime and teen pregnancy is a myth of sorts. According to Silverstein and Auerbach, studies claiming to establish the relationship between fatherlessness and troubled youths are actually documenting the negative effects of poverty. The belief that children are adaptable in the natures which they grow up in and despite living in a single parent home their outcome of adulthood is the same as a child which was raised in the nuclear family home. Louise B. Silverstein and Carl F. Auerbach mentions that

“Our cultural mythology about parenting is that there is "one right way" to raise children. Most people believe that the best way to raise children is with both a stay-at-home mother (at least while the kids are young) and a breadwinner father in a long-term marriage that lasts "till death do us part." We have been told that any family that is different from this norm shortchanges youngsters. However, the majority of families do not fit this model. Most mothers have to, or want to, be part of the paid workforce; about half of all marriages will end in divorce; and many more people than ever before will choose to have children without getting married” (Louise B. Silverstein and Carl F. Auerbach).

What this article is trying to bring to light is that that within these studies of trying to find the best home for children we have created an over exaggerated collection of data which states children who grow up within single (mother) parent homes are doomed of their future. Silverstein and Auerbach's approach on this topic is to end this doomed image of single parent children which is something not seen or heard of very often. I grew up in a home with a single mother and I’ve learned that yes, I can survive without a father image in my household and so can my siblings. But the most important thing to understand is that growing up without a father in the home is do-able but it is so much easier and beneficial to children to have that opportunity of growing up in a home with a father.

Something very important to look at is the effects of the child living in these different types of homes, suicide rates have been the highest it has ever been these past couple years. Parents can play a huge role in the suicidal thoughts of their children to protect and guide their children to avoid suicide. “The CDC reports that an average of 3,041 high school-aged children attempt suicide every day, and 8.6 percent of youths in a 2015 Youth Risk Behaviors survey reported at least one suicide attempt in the 12-month period preceding the outreach” (Deseret). This isn't just a focus in America; it is also a topic of discussion in India. In the India of Times there was an article titled 'Teenagers' suicide highlights need for friendly parenting' where teen suicide is also a worry. A doctor said in the article, “‘In addition, when they don't get a communication channel to share anything or feel their parents are not friendly, they build up everything in their mind and take the extreme step. It is high time that the elder members leave traditional parenting as children these days are too sensitive. Parents have to listen to their children and create a friendly environment at home’” (Times of India). Suicidal thoughts are definitely something my own family and siblings battle with constantly and it seems almost impossible to bring to a stop. Having siblings who struggle with suicide it has taken a toll on my single mother trying to parent. Most times my mother feels she cannot help her children and she feel worthless. I believe that with another parent in the home the load of stress and burdens of parenting distressed children would become lighter.