WEEK 6

Sharing more information creates attachment

Attachment does not = love

Something we need to clarify from the last blog is that love is not the same as attachment.

Love is selfless, attachment is selfish. When you're in love, you focus on making the other person happy. ... When you're merely attached to someone, you're focused upon the ways in which they can make you happy. You become heavily dependent upon your partner and may even try to control him or her to avoid abandonment.

That is why it is important to determine the relationship title. I know… it's everyone’s nightmare asking the scary question “what are we?” determining what relationship title you fall upon will give you a good idea of the intention in the relationship.

Be aware and intentional about forming relationships

(All relationships not just romantic ones).

family relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships are all super important part of life, and it is essential that we take the time to get to know the people in our circle and to understand the intention of them being in your life or you being in their life. Within romantic relationships you must really determine where you want the relationship to go, do you want to marry this person one day, or do you see things not going far?

How do we know if we should get engaged?

This question was asked in class the other day and the response the class had gave blew my mind. A class full of young adults some who are married and some who are on the path of taking that step towards marriage had replied with “Consult with the lord”. Marriage is a scary big step for most and making the decision on a personal level seems impossible most times, consulting with the lord and praying for an answer of what he believes you are ready for. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we believe in temple marriage and being sealed to another for all time and eternity past just this lifetime here on earth and while here on earth we are supposed to work as equals “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partner”- The Family A proclamation to the World. This is a big commitment praying for guidance and answers throughout the relationship starting from dating all the way up to your wedding day is important even if you didn’t start dating them with the intention to marry them, how you ask and consult in your prayers is detrimental to the answers you will receive. Never pray with someone you are dating it’s not the proper order of doing things especially when praying for answers on marriage it will most likely cloud your judgment and capability to hear the spirit the way that is intended. Reserve praying together for marriage.

Plan for a marriage rather than for a wedding

In 2019 weddings cost on average $28,000! With that much money you could

- Buy Tiny house

- Purchase a car

- Go on a 57-day Antarctica, Amazon and Caribbean cruise

- Pay down credit or debt

It’s obvious some marriages spend more effort for preparing for the wedding rather than preparing for their marriage. When planning a wedding it would be wise to work together instead of the bride and her mother doing all the planning, set a lower budget and focus on the sentimental parts of the ceremonies, keep in mind the wedding is not for the guest it is for the bride and groom. I heard of the experience my teacher had when him and his wife were planning their wedding his wife had asked “what colors should we do?” he would always respond with “it doesn’t matter to me whatever makes you happy dear!” she would repeatedly ask the question and she would continue to get the same response until one day she stopped and said “this isn’t just my wedding, this is our wedding.” That comment meant a lot to him, it showed that she cares about his opinion and wants to make decisions together in preparation for their marriage.